What to Expect: Bodywork Newbies’ FAQs
Many people avoid massage and bodywork because they don’t know what to expect! If anxieties about the process and experience of getting a massage are keeping you from trying it, read on.
I’m digging deep into my experiences both receiving bodywork as well as working as a massage therapist and craniosacral bodyworker to address the most common concerns. If you have a question that isn’t answered here, leave it in the comments and I’ll work it into the post!
I’m self-conscious about my body. Do I have to be naked?
It’s totally understandable to be uncomfortable with exposing your body to a stranger, even in a therapeutic setting! Keep in mind that massage therapists work on bodies of all shapes, sizes, and ages - they’ve seen it all and will view your body as a collection of skin, muscles, and connective tissues that need healing!
It may be comforting to know that, while table massage is received nude, you’ll never be fully exposed during a massage. Your therapist will step out of the room while you disrobe and lay down on the massage table under a sheet and blanket. During the session, the therapist skillfully undrapes only the part of your body they’ll be massaging at any given time, being mindful to keep your private parts covered at all times. Much of massage training centers around appropriate draping techniques, so rest assured that your therapist knows how keep you covered!
The one sensitive area that may need to be exposed and massaged are the gluteals (butt muscles). These muscles relate to low back and hamstring tension, and are a common factor in sciatic nerve pain - if either of these issues is your primary reason for seeking massage, the therapist may need to address this region! (Caveat: some states don’t allow massage of the glutes, in which case this info doesn’t apply.) You can always request that the therapist avoid gluteal massage if you’re not comfortable with it.
You can also choose to keep your underwear on! Women often keep undies on during their periods, but anyone can choose to stay covered without feeling the need to offer an explanation to the therapist. Please understand, though, that keeping them on, especially bras, does get in the way of the therapist accessing the parts of the body that are covered. Bra straps limit the muscles that can be massaged around the upper back and shoulders, and underpants will limit how effective the therapist can be with low back and hamstring tightness. As long as you’re aware of that fact and are fine with it, then absolutely honor your own comfort level!
Is there anything I should do to prepare for my massage?
It’s good practice to arrive at your massage freshly bathed. Besides being considerate to your therapist, it’s also healthier for you: massage warms the tissues and opens the pores with oil on the skin, so dried sweat or dirt on your body is just going to clog your pores and inhibit the detoxifying effects of the massage.
Also consider the timing of meals and what you eat beforehand. Massage is deeply relaxing, which helps shift the nervous system from “fight or flight” into “rest and digest” state. Eating a large meal or drinking a huge cup of coffee right before a massage could mean abdominal discomfort while you’re on the table or a need to pause midway through the massage to evacuate your bladder or bowels. I recommend not eating in the 60-90 minutes leading up to a massage and avoid foods that give you indigestion.
Am I supposed to be doing something during the massage? It feels weird to just lay there while someone else does all the work.
One of the benefits of receiving massage is the receiving part! We’re so culturally motivated to be productive that it can feel extremely uncomfortable to let someone else work while we simply enjoy the process of relaxing.
In situations where someone else is working and we’re just witnessing (like when we call a plumber in or take the car to a mechanic), we often feel compelled to make conversation or be entertaining. If that impulse feels familiar, I encourage you to reframe your “job” on the massage table: you’re not just a bystander in this situation, you’re having an experience! You’re here to receive, heal, and relax. That’s it. Making conversation during your massage will keep your nervous system from down-regulating - if you’re the kind of person who always feels the need to be “on”, this would be the time to practice letting that go.
Unless the massage therapist asks you to move a limb or do something, just relax and allow them to move your body. Often, the body will involuntarily try to assist the practitioner when they’re moving your arm or leg - your “work” is to try to relax those impulses and let yourself be carried.
Simply receiving and allowing ourselves to feel good without guilt can be challenging for some of us - recognizing and addressing these impulses is part of the yogic work we’re doing! Practice, practice, practice.
What if I fall asleep?
Just let yourself fall asleep! Don’t try to stay alert. As the nervous system down-regulates, it makes us drowsy (the “rest” part of “rest and digest”). Newcomers to massage often fight falling asleep because of embarrassment or the mistaken idea that they are supposed to be present and alert. When I was a practicing massage therapist, I considered it a job well-done when a client started to snore!
What if my stomach gurgles or I fart?
As mentioned earlier, the process of relaxing facilitates digestion, which often results in borgorygmus (gurgling sounds from gases moving through the intestines). In fact, when I was training in Visionary Craniosacral Work, we were instructed to listen for those sounds as indicators that the nervous system had shifted into “rest and digest” - the gurgling lets us know that the client has entered a deeply relaxed state and the real energy work can begin. Culturally, we’re taught to be embarrassed of digestive noises, but they’re nothing to be embarrassed about on the table.
People often fall asleep during massage and, yes, sometimes in that fully-relaxed state, they pass gas. Every massage therapist out there has experienced this many times, so while it may feel socially embarrassing for you, please know that it’s nothing new to them. If you find yourself straining to hold it in, you can always ask the therapist to pause while you go to the bathroom. Even though it disrupts the flow, that scenario is better than internally fighting your body throughout what is supposed to be a relaxing experience! And, as mentioned earlier, avoiding foods that make you gassy beforehand may help.
What about tipping?
There’s a lot of debate in the industry about this issue. Personally, I believe that if a massage therapist or bodyworker is self-employed and setting their own rates for their services, tipping isn’t necessary (when I had a private practice, I maintained a No-Tipping policy). Culturally, however, it’s often expected and it can feel weird to not tip. If you’re seeing a practitioner in private practice, you could tip if that feels good to you.
For a spa massage, however, I do recommend tipping - like waiters in restaurants, the majority of the fee you pay for your massage goes to the spa, and the therapist only gets a small hourly fee. A 20% tip is customary, but if you’re always free to tip whatever feels right.
What if the massage hurts, I’m uncomfortable, or the therapist is annoying or inappropriate?
Massage is a skilled art and unfortunately - as in any industry - not everyone who is licensed is good at it!
It’s important to remember that when receiving massage, you have agency! Too often, people believe that the therapist knows best and they should just keep quiet about discomfort. Communication is key! Let your therapist know so they can fix the issue and you can get on with your job of simply relaxing.
A common complaint is neck discomfort during a massage. Face cradles (padded rings at the end of the table designed to place your face in while you’re face-down) are adjustable - if they’re positioned incorrectly for your neck and body, you’ll end up leaving with a crick in your neck. When you first get on the table and place your face in the cradle, assess how your neck and shoulders feel. If it’s uncomfortable, tell your therapist so they can adjust it to the right height and angle for you.
During the massage, communicate your needs. If you’re too cold or hot - if the music is too loud or you find it grating on your nerves - if you’re bracing against the therapist’s pressure - if they massage into a bruise or touch an area that’s inexplicably painful - if the therapist’s chattiness isn’t letting you relax - say something! Don’t just grin and bear it. Your massage therapist wants you to have a truly relaxing, pleasant experience and should be happy to adjust things to make you more comfortable.
If they’re not responsive to your needs, remember: you have agency. If you’ve communicated that their pressure is causing you pain and they still can’t seem to adjust their technique, you can always end the session rather than suffering through it. For more minor annoyances that communication isn’t resolving, you may choose to simply stick it out and find a different therapist for your next massage. Communicate your needs, but know you have options if it still doesn’t feel good.
And, as with every situation in which we place bodily trust in the hands of our providers - whether it’s a dentist, doctor, chiropractor, or massage therapist - there is the possibility that our trust will be violated. In the rare event that a therapist crosses boundaries with sexual touch, you absolutely have the right to say “STOP” and end the session. People who experience violation are usually so stunned into shock that they stay silent, which is a completely natural nervous system reaction and nothing to feel ashamed of - but, after the fact, when your nervous system has processed the experience, please know that you have every right to file a complaint with the spa, your state’s massage oversight board, and the police.
If you have other concerns or questions you’d like answered, let me know in the comments!